Do you ever find your mind is so cluttered that you can’t really think straight? I’ve been in that space for quite a while and I think it’s starting to take its toll.
If we sat down and had coffee, if you asked about my work I would probably tell you about how wonderful it is. It is! I’ve been so thankful and grateful to have been blessed with a growing and flourishing freelance business in 2016. Developing recipes and writing is work that sets my soul on fire and makes my heart happy. And I would tell you about Beautycounter and what an unexpected blessing it’s been for me – both professionally and personally. The women I work with (can I really even call it work) are so passionate and have become true friends in the last year.
I might also leave out that I’m distracted, distant and pulled in too many directions far too often. Far more than I would like to admit. I blame it on “mom brain” and on juggling too many things at once. Sure, a little bit might be mom brain or pregnancy brain or whatever you want to call it, but the truth is that I’m distracted far too often when I’m not at work. I’ve done a poor job over the last six months being more connected than ever. I check my phone a thousand times a day, I’m always connected and plugged in even when I’m not working and have gotten increasingly lax with my work hours.
Do you feel that, too, friends? Do you feel physically present but mentally aloof? It’s a feeling that I can’t shake lately and something I’m increasingly aware needs to change. But, like any addiction, it’s hard to admit that I have a problem. On the hard days, it’s easier to pull out my phone an zone out rather than truly recharge by reading a book or listening to music or spending time connecting with my husband over deep conversation.
So I’m making a resolution, mid way through the first month of the year, that I’m going to disconnect after regular work hours. That I’m going to go back to my old habit of letting my phone go dead sometimes on the weekends or leaving it behind when I’m with my family. That I’m going to spend more time physically and emotionally present, fully engaged wherever I am rather than being absorbed in where others are or my next post or answering the latest question on Facebook or Instagram.
Because while it may be morbid to say, I think about dying sometimes and how I’ll feel at the end of my life. And I want to make sure that I don’t waste this beautiful, precious life and these short and fleeting years with my children and husband during some of the sweetest, most precious years of our lives.